On Death Row

Composite blog consisting of notes, reflections, weird jokes, trip reports and amusing stories from the death row; some personal, some told and some fabricated, I have to reckon!

BEWARE!! This is neither a porno nor a politically correct site... more probably is a highly misanthropic and overtly cynical terminal account

Ridendo castigat mores, that I freely translate as ”humor improves behavior” , not that I believe, but it sounds nice!

7
Jul
2018

I had yesterday a terrible row with God

/

 

EARTHQUAKE AND CONVERSION

 

It was around midnight after an exhausting day which included a five hours flight from Sankt Petersburg and the major disappointment to realize that there were no running trains at the airport towards my backwaters abode. I arrived home dead tired and hungry, found the determination to prepare a rice with some Indian relish,  I believe it was pickled lime, took care of the hygienic ritual and went to bed with the Apple tablet.  And then the house and my bed began to move. I knew that the house is shaky, but my bed made of heavy railroad beams was, like the one   Ulysses built for his extremely loving Penelope, not supposed to circulate.   It was an EARTHQUAKE!

I jumped on my SMART, took refuge under the symbolic door frame and called God. I will remember this talk till the last day of my life which can come any moment. It is true that I was out of my wits and pretty hysterical but it seems that for a while, memory is still with me. Speaking of memory, Claude Lanzmann passed recently away. Do not count on me to make his eulogy despite the fact that I pretty much liked him. His MEMORY stunt fairly helped the good thinking people around the world to be appalled upon the past HOLOCAUST while vigorously preparing the NEW ONE. But let’s go back to present, it is by far more important and not less amusing!

 

Lord, Lord hello, hello….

-What do you want? the voice was not gruff but neither too friendly

-Lord, there  was an earthquake at my place

-I know, I believe it stopped

BUT IT CAN COME BACK!

-So what do you want me to do? I cannot interfere, it is a natural phenomenon

-But Lord, please,  NOT NOW, I am dead tired, I came back today from Russia where I was hunted like a beast by Putin, the Oligarchs and the Soccer fandom

-Delusional you have always been and a little bit of a compulsive liar,  nobody paid the SLIGHTEST attention to you

-👿👿👿👿👿!!!!!!!!!!!

-And by the way how come that you, who are an ATHEIST, call on me?

-That is elementary Sir, believers or whatever bigots have your protection assured BY DEFAULT!

-Sorry, I cannot interfere…but I will like YOU to tell what it is in this plate that I distinguish in your post?

-It is a Romanian salad Lord, tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, radish, pimento, green onions, eggplants caviar, three herbs: dill, parsley and coriander, salt, pepper, pressed lemon and olive oil.  Nothing more…

-It sounds great, appealing even….with food like this you can live forever or at least stick to what you already are, a DIE-HARD

-Lord, that IS intolerable, I feel your PUN like a PUNCH on the nose

-Listen man, are you lecturing me? Is it no more possible to crack a joke without being monitored with good intentions? Today they are censuring the speech, tomorrow they will want to control the mind…Did you become a POLITICALLY CORRECT body in your old miserable days?

-(now he was adding insult to injury and his voice had the coldness he displayed in Chris de Burgh’ song, the Spanish Train but I began to have enough and also the EARTHQUAKE didn’t seem to reiterate!) If this is so ALMIGHTY, kind of DEUS OTIOSUS, who left mankind clueless to commit horrible crimes for good causes, it is your loaded question implying that I became an IDIOT or a HYPOCRITE?

Right you are, sneered he, 😃😃, I will say BOTH, you cannot escape to your ZEITGEIST, and hung up!!!!

 

Now I am asking my charitable and dear  friend (I suddenly realized that we don’t have the feminine for friend, like amie, prietenâ, Freudenin, in English! What about frienda for the moment) and my lovely frienda what should I do?  It is possible that an ex-major deity can make fun  of a fragile old man?

Would I be younger I would convert, I would  convert to Islam. Sure, I have to decide, if I am going for SHI or SUN. That is easy to do. I am a conformist by birth and respect authority highly. The PROPHET said ALI. What was good for the PROPHET is  FINE for me. I have already a superb djellaba, red royal babouches, an embroidered shirt, a large series of caps and turbans and and two baggy trousers (sirwal). The Islam is a forward going religion, a soundly growing demographic mass. I would get rid of the rotten feeling of being an outcast CRIMINAL. In ISLAM you are assured by DEFAULT in any little vent, step, action of your life; MEN, I am one, have some tangible advantages, you know what I mean, and nobody, absolutely nobody can stick on you a POLITICALLY CORRECT epithet….Unfortunately, I am afraid that  it is too late,  it sounds exactly like a daydream,  I think a little glass of WHISKEY will do me well…

 

PS. And if somebody has any doubts upon the sincerity of my intentions please consider these photos taken at Tangier, BEFORE the occurrence!

 

 

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